Black-Eyed Pea Therapy

It is an old southern tradition to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day for good luck and prosperity.  So my first New Year’s resolution is to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.  My second New Year’s resolution is to blog about how to create “good luck and prosperity” everyday, with or without the black-eyed peas.

Just what is good luck?  In my world, good luck is a set of fortuitous circumstances visited upon a person that results in an emotional energetic response of gratitude and joy.  The problem is that we believe that we have to wait for good luck to spontaneously show up.  While we are waiting for the arrival of good luck, we are often cranky, cynical, snarky, negative and pessimistic, energetic emotions that are the antithesis of joy and gratitude.

Therefore, I propose that a welcoming environment for good luck and prosperity to materialize is one of gratitude and joy.  Remember, Einstein said “Everything is energy.  Energy attracts a similar energy.”

Join me in a crusade to create good luck and prosperity by consciously choosing to experience gratitude and joy. 

Start a gratitude journal where you regularly record the people and circumstances that you treasure in your life.  Oprah says that keeping a gratitude journal changed her life.  Keeping a gratitude journal has certainly changed my life.  Even if you choose not to write down the people and things you are grateful for, you can bring these things into your conscious awareness several times a day.  This practice is “soul medicine” and you will surely reap the benefits if you resolve to choose gratitude and joy everyday. 

Don’t take my word for it.  Try it and see what happens.  I would love to hear from you about the good luck and prosperity that start showing up in your life when you embark on your black-eyed pea therapy.  Send me an email or visit my website.http://www.susanboyes.com/  Happy New Year!

Relationship Insurance

The holidays mark special celebrations in addition to Christmas and Chanukah, such as engagements and weddings.  Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve provide perfect settings for proposals, diamond rings, and marriages. 

The timing insures that no one will forget the date of these special occasions.  The day you get engaged and the day you get married are surely two of the happiest days of your life.  Your heart and mind are overflowing with love and great expectations.  As much as you want to sustain the euphoria of new love, any seasoned married veteran will tell you that a healthy marriage or relationship takes some work. 

The problem is that often a novice couple doesn’t know the correct steps to take to navigate a strong relationship. This is where couple or marriage counseling plays an important role.  As a relationship counselor, I can observe communication glitches and self-defeating behavior patterns before they sabotage a relationship, creating unnecessary pain and walls of resentment.  I also use a tool, the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory that allows me to make“map” of a couple’s personality preferences.  From that map, I can predict where conflict is likely to occur and make suggestions about how to avoid the conflict.

Before you tie the knot, get premarital counseling.  If you are a married couple or you are in a committed relationship and you are struggling, consider marriage or couple counseling.  You owe it to yourself and your partner to learn how to love each better.  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  For more information, email me at susanboyes@susanboyes.com or visit my website.

Use Your Mind to Heal Your Body

Would you like to mobilize your body's natural abilities to reduce or eliminate dis-ease?  Understanding how your body and mind partner to create pain and certain health conditions is the first step.  Mind/Body Syndrome is the way your body expresses repressed emotions.  Here is how it works: when events arouse intense emotions like anger, rage, fear, and shame, we feel overwhelmed and bury the feelings.  With no other outlet, the repressed emotions manifest as physical symptoms.  Once this happens, the focus becomes diagnosing and treating the physical symptoms to the exclusion of the emotional triggers.  Medical intervention may work temporarily; but what usually happens is that the symptoms return or manifest in a different set of symptoms. 

People with Mind/Body Syndrome often exhibit personality traits such as stoicism, perfectionism, and self-criticism.  They may be people-pleasers or worry-warts.

Dr. John Sarno, author and ground-breaking medical pioneer in the field of mind/body syndrome says, "There are literally hundreds of disorders and illnesses that have been identified as purely psychosomatic.  Yet, amazingly, in spite of the nearly universal prevalence of such disorders, the practice of mind body medicine is almost totally unknown within today's medical community, and plays virtually no part in contemporary medical study and research". 

Common symptoms of Mind/Body Syndrome include: gastrointestinal problems, fibromylgia, sexual dysfunction, chronic fatigue, hypertension, dermatitis, chronic pain, headaches, depression, anxiety/panic disorder, insomnia, eating disorders and allergies.  If you suffer from any of these conditions or any other chronic, undiagnosed health condition, chances are you have Mind/Body Syndrome.  For more information about MBS, visit my website and order my CD Use Your Mind to Heal Your Body.

The Perfect Gift

Are you looking for the perfect gift for your special someone?  How does free, easy to get, and sure to bring pleasure for a looooong time sound to you?  You’ve heard that “It’s not the gift; it’s the thought that counts”.  Well, in this case, that is precisely the point.  Follow these simple instructions and you are guaranteed to have a happy relationship and a happy partner:

1.      Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, complete this sentence: I am so happy and grateful that (name)______________ is in my life because ________________, ______________, and ______________. 

2.      *Complete this sentence: I am so happy and grateful that I today I ______________________________________________________________.

3.      Take a couple of deep breaths and SMILE.

Better yet, write out your affirmations.  Now you are ready to start your day.

When you follow this daily routine, here is what happens.  First you set an intention to focus on gratitude which raises you energy frequency and causes your brain to send signals to your body to produce the feel-good chemicals endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.  Your energy field (the space around your body) is lighter, brighter and more loving and compassionate.

People in your immediate environment are unconsciously affected by the vibes you are sending out so they enjoy how they feel in your presence. This is a recipe for a strong, reciprocal relationship.  Repeated on a daily basis, you can alter your neural circuitry (brain patterns) and your neuro-chemistry so you consistently feel better about your partner and yourself.  What a fabulous gift! 

*Examples: am healthy, am loved, have a job, receive an unexpected windfall, attract success, am a father/mother, have friends, am brilliant, have an appointment with my marriage counselor, etc. 

Energy Psychology: an Alternative to Prescription Drugs

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found that 45 million Americans experienced some form of mental illness in 2009.  According to a government study, antidepressants have become the most commonly prescribed drugs in the United States. They're prescribed more than drugs to treat high blood pressure, high cholesterol, asthma, or headaches. It would appear that depression is diagnosed more often than many common physical conditions and that antidepressant drugs are the treatment of choice.  So Americans are reporting more depression and taking more prescription drugs to alleviate their painful symptoms.  Clearly, something is amiss here.

Many studies suggest that antidepressant drug therapy is only slightly more effective than placebos.  More studies suggest that exercise is the most effective treatment for depression.  Since many Americans can’t find the time or motivation to exercise, what other treatment options are available to the 45 million Americans suffering from depression and other forms of mental illness?

Energy Psychology may be the answer.  Energy Psychology is a new paradigm for healing dysfunctional emotions and the negative thought patterns and self-defeating behavior that support those emotions. Healing the emotions is the gateway to a happier, healthier experience of a fulfilling life. Energy Psychology is based on clinical trials that show that stimulating energy points on the surface of the skin alters psychological states by creating shifts in neuro-chemistry, thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

Energy points are also known as meridian points or acupressure points.  Energy psychology techniques allow the practitioner to stimulate meridian points by tapping acupressure points on the face and upper body to relieve anxiety and other emotional problems. Tapping meridian points releases blocked electromagnetic energy in the body to restore a harmonious flow of energy that supports health and vitality. 

If you want to know more about Energy Psychology and how the simple, safe techniques can help you enjoy the health and well-being you deserve, please contact me by visiting my website.

Holiday Survival Skills for Men

We all know that men and women see many things very differently.  This holiday season will be a learning experience for many men who make the major mistake of selecting the wrong gift for their special woman.  A blunder of this nature can take on gargantuan proportions.

The first Christmas my husband and I were together, he gave me a blender.  He even used a 20% off coupon I gave him for a department store.  Because this was our first Christmas together, I had knocked myself out decorating, cooking, shopping, gift-wrapping, and making other holiday preparations for his three sons and my four daughters. I wanted everything to be perfect.  

Everyone was having a wonderful time Christmas morning tearing into their gifts.  I kept wondering what was under the tree for me.  When I finally unwrapped the blender, an ungodly rage erupted inside of me.  I wanted rip his arms off and pummel his stupid head with them.  Although, I resisted the urge toward violence, believe me he paid dearly for his indiscretion in equally painful consequences.

Now I leave nothing to chance.  Well in advance of an occasion, I remind him that the event is coming up and I tell him exactly what I want and where to buy it.  He is wise enough to follow my directions, including having it beautifully wrapped.  It is a win-win victory.  If you want to preserve a happy marriage or a joyful relationship, guys don’t buy the wrong gift.  If your relationship is in a free fall, maybe I can help. Email me at susanboyes@susanboyes.com or visit my website.

Cyber Monday Deals

In case you didn’t already know it, today is another Cyber Monday, when online buyers snag the best deals from retailers offering great discounts . Cyber Monday was the second highest spending day of 2009, with buyers charging nearly $890 million during the special shopping event. Finding a great deal on a prized item is a soul-satisfying experience most of us delight in. We love sharing our good fortune with friends and families by sharing the details of our opportune purchase.

You know what else brings the same profound satisfaction? Meditating regularly releases the same feel-good hormones, endorphins and serotonin. Some studies suggest that meditation practiced on a regular basis is as effective as medication in alleviating symptoms of anxiety and depression. Meditation is non-invasive, free, and has no side effects.

During meditation, the brain produces an alpha wave pattern identical to that state of deep relaxation when one is falling asleep or awakening. Alpha brain wave patterns benefit the mind/body in the following ways:
• Calms your body and mind while maintaining alertness
• Stimulates imagination, intuition and heightened awareness
• Allows for detachment from the outcome
• Improves memory, concentration, and mental clarity
• Improves sleep patterns and overall health
• Reduces muscle tension, chronic pain, and headaches
• Lowers high blood pressure
• Enhances the immune system
• Increases serotonin production and reduces anxiety and depression
• Helps in post-operative healing

Many people are intimidated by the idea of meditating. The basics of meditating effectively include deep, rhythmic breathing, soothing mental imagery and deep relaxation. I have developed a library of meditation CDs that facilitates the novice and practiced meditator in achieving fast and effective results with a minimum of effort. . If you are stressed out, can’t sleep, experiencing health problems or just want to feel better in general, try meditating.

Is Your Stress Upsetting Your Child?

According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association including 1,134 adults, 100 of whom were parents of children ages 8 to seventeen, the majority of Americans are living with moderate levels of stress.  The leading causes of stress were money problems, job security and the economy.  Almost half of adults reported job stability as a source of stress.

Although most parents don’t think their children are significantly affected by their stress, 91 % of the children reported that they are aware of their parent’s stress.  Children may believe that their parents’ stress is caused Children manifest stress in a variety of ways, including crying, anxiety, anger/tantrums, problems at school by them or they may fear that their parents may separate and divorce., nail-biting, tics, toilet accidents, sleep problems, substance abuse and defiance, to name a few.  It appears that stress is a family problem in many, if not most, American homes.

So what can parents do to lower stress levels in the home other than get adequate sleep, exercise, and follow a healthy diet?   Reassuring your child often that things are going to be fine and that you love them is a good place to start.  Joining your child in playful activities is fun and relaxing for everyone.  Finally, practicing meditation  on a regular basis is beneficial to lower stress and improve general health.  It is even more important to maintain your meditation practice during the holiday season. You owe it to yourself and your family to find healthy ways to manage stress and enjoy each other more.

Stress management for adults, children and teens is one of my specialties.  Visit my website susanboyes.com or email me at susanboyes@susanboyes.com if you have any  questions or comments.

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Everyday is Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is an opportunity for family and friends to gather to enjoy each other, share a yummy feast, and express gratitude for the many blessings we enjoy on a daily basis.  Heart felt gratitude is a very powerful emotion with a high vibration.  Oprah Winfrey says that keeping a gratitude journal changed her life.  And no one could argue that Oprah is living the good life.  Michael Losier, author of Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What you Want and Less of What you Don’t,  writes, “If you want to start attracting positive things into your life, there is one small thing you should do every day—show your gratitude, appreciation and love for the people and things around you.”  By acknowledging what you are grateful for in your journal, Michael says you'll become a deliberate attractor of positive vibrations.

I keep a gratitude journal with a different spin.  Most mornings, I start the day by giving thanks for the day as I desire it to unfold.  I express gratitude for being especially effective and inspired by my work, for receiving large checks in the mail, for enjoying great health and being motivated to work-out, for the joy of learning, for the grace to accept every circumstance as a learning opportunity, for humor, for good food, for peace and joy in my heart, ect.  I end my morning page with the words, “This or something better.”  This simple practice has reaped more abundance, satisfaction, and serenity than I could have ever anticipated.  If you want to practice this simple, life-affirming technique, visit my website.

A Healthy Alternative to Smoking for Stress Relief

A staggering 50 million Americans smoke, including 3.4 million teens.  It is estimated that 7 people die every minute due to diseases related to smoking.  Currently, four health warnings from the Surgeon General are rotated on cigarette packages and in cigarette advertisements, but many experts think that they have become almost invisible to most smokers, including teens who pick up their first pack of cigarettes. However, many smokers realize that smoking causes lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and may complicate pregnancy, but they continue to smoke.The new cigarette warnings will include a large, gruesome color graphic image that will be accompanied by one of nine new health warnings, which will be rotated on cigarette packages and in cigarette advertisements.  It is hoped that the new warnings will graphically illustrate the harm and danger that tobacco use causes, and effectively convey the major health risks of smoking.
Most smokers are fully aware of the health risks that smoking represents but they continue to smoke because they are addicted to nicotine.  One of the most compelling reasons people begin smoking is to relieve stress.  And one of the greatest obstacles to quitting is the excessive stress caused by abstaining from smoking. 
There are healthier ways of managing stress.  Meditation not only reduces stress but it also relieves numerous other health related issues including insomnia, chronic pain, depression, hypertension and mental clarity, to name a few.  Consider meditation as a healthy option for improving your overall health.  My meditation CDs are an easy solution to the complex problem stress presents.

Angry Birds For Real

I have just been enlightened about Angry Birds.  If I had to have guessed, I would have said it was a female rock band.  Turns out it is a video game that some players are claiming is addictive.  In fact Angry Birds has been downloaded 18 million times in over 60 countries with the numbers climbing by the minute.  Apparently the object of the game is to propel birds from slingshots to topple buildings constructed by evil, green pigs in order to retrieve stolen eggs from the pig thieves. Does this sound as ludicrous as I think it does?  And I thought people were talking on those “smart” phones.

 

There are many disturbing components to this emerging global addiction.  First, it appears to be sucking excessive valuable time from people who already claim to be too busy to sleep, too busy to cook, too busy to exercise and too busy to socialize with real people.  Excess breeds stress.  Stress leads to relationship problems, health problems, depression and anxiety.  Addiction to anything leads to guilt, low self-esteem, and skewed values.

 If you are getting all worked up and stressed by Angry Birds or anything else, you need to chill by doing some meditation and/or getting some counseling from a qualified mental health professional.  Addictions of any kind are a dysfunctional escape from feelings, past or present.  What do you think?  Is your life spinning out of control with stress, worry, depression, relationship problems, addictions or feelings of worthlessness?  Don’t continue to suffer.  If you want to find out more, visit my website, susanboyes.com or email me, susanboyes@susanboyes.com.

Traumtic events in life cause many reactions

An event may occur in our life for which we are totally unprepared – especially if it happens in childhood. A child may not have the experience base, vocabulary or analytical skills to understand and process the traumatic event. For everyone of any age, the aftermath of the event is the struggle to understand, accept and heal from the wounds that the event inflicted. The symptoms: flashbacks, intrusive memories, depression, intense anxiety, nightmares, dissociation, insomnia, rage and disruptions of normal life as we have known it seem bizarre – but they represent the path to healing and restoring some semblance of normalcy.

In the wake of recent events like the fires in Colorado and the natural gas line explosion in California, there is more proof that things happen in life we just don't see coming! "Many feel shocked, lost, anxious, and depressed... For many, the pain from their loss can be intense and unrelenting," says Katherine Shear, PhD of the US Dept of Veterans Affairs.

As a mental health professional for many years, I pulled from my experience in treating individuals and families with PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder, to create an extraordinary meditation audio. It is designed to assist the listener to release trapped trauma energy and restore balance and harmony to the mind and body. Listening to the audio recording repeatedly over time trains the body to relax, allowing the listener’s body to produce serotonin and endorphins naturally. Don’t wait a minute longer to start your recovery from PTSD!

Meditation allows kids to de-stress when times get crazy...

Stress is not a chronic condition confined to adults. Sadly, our most vulnerable population, children and teens, are also plagued by overwhelming demands on their time and attention. The age of innocence comes to a screeching halt, usually by the time children begin to attend school. Pressure and tension gradually accumulates until it erupts in the early teen years, manifesting as bullying, alcohol/substance abuse, promiscuity, depression, anxiety disorders, delinquency, plummeting grades, diminished motivation and even violence.

Children often find meditating easier than adults due to the fact that the prefrontal cortex of the brain has not fully matured. Their facile, creative brains quickly learn to customize images so they become more vividly reflections of their own internal guiding system. "Relaxation works for all ages," says Marcia Eckerd, Ph.D., attending faculty in the Department of Psychiatry at Norwalk Hospital. It may take the adult brain months to establish a body memory; often it is accomplished by a young brain in a matter of a few days.

As the mother of four grown daughters, I know first hand how stress can impact children. As a licensed professional counselor, I've worked with troubled youth in a residential setting and understand how desperate children and teens are for a sense of stability and feelings of self-empowerment and validation.

I've developed a series of meditation audios and specialized this recording to reach out to children and teens struggling to navigate the turbulent demands of growing up. In a time when "mental disorders affect nearly 12 percent of the world’s population – about 450 million or one out of every four people around the world.." as stated by the World Federation for Mental Health, isn't it time to ensure our children have the tools for staying healthy in body and mind?

Catching up on sleep this Labor Day?

Sleep doesn't work that way, you never catch up on what you've missed! It doesn't matter what your situation, nothing is more important to your health than a renewing, restorative night’s sleep.

Stress is rampant, worries about the economy, keeping your job if you have one, finding one if you don't, it goes on and on. As a result, insomnia is a national epidemic. Drug companies are banking billions of dollars making empty promises to help insomnia sufferers' with medications that are addicting, ineffective or have toxic side effects. Sleep is a natural process that is being corrupted by the excessive worries and stress that plague the majority of Americans today.

Ahhhh.... to sleep perchance to dream... Like Hamlet, you have some serious sleep problems. You don't expect to sleep tonight, much less to dream. You may begin feeling tense and anxious as bedtime approaches. You have learned to anticipate another restless, sleepless, frustrating night of tossing and turning, and wondering how you are going to function tomorrow with so little rest. No doubt, sleep deprivation is making you exhausted, cranky and careless. Fatigue is interfering with your work, your relationships, your health and most of all, your enjoyment of life.

Over the years in my counseling practice, I found some basic meditation strategies that can help create the restful night you seek. This powerful audio recording is designed to relax your body, and induce an alpha brain wave pattern that will guide you into a peaceful night's rest. It will allow your brain to focus on something soothing and healthy before you turn out the light tonight. Claim your right to a good night’s sleep today!